The ‘girl crush’ seems to be hot property at the moment. Cosmo declares on the front cover of its January issue that so and so is their ‘Greys Anatomy girl crush’, an American company seems to have cashed in on the craze with a bunch of kids hairstyling items etc, and a couple of months ago I was accused (rather patronizingly I thought) of having a girl crush on Misha Barton.
Officially a girl crush is:
when two women have strong feelings for one another, but not in a sexual way. A Girl Crush is strong infatuation that one woman has for another woman who seems beautiful, sophisticated, charming or accomplished. It usually refers to heterosexual women.
Which is where the problem arises. Having a crush on a girl can be very confusing for someone who thinks she’s straight.
Take my friend for example. In years seven through nine (ages 13 to 15) she had a big crush on me. Only she confused this totally non-sexual ‘girl crush’ for a somewhat more sexual crush. So she spent a good couple of years reacting fairly badly to other friends of mine, being jealous and possessive and occasionally violent (she kicked me across a room once). Then one day when I was staying the night at her place she jumped me, I turned her down and she was fairly hurt.
Turns out a couple of years later she realises that she’s straight after all and was just going through a confused phase and I realise that I’m bi and was just in denial the whole time.
Girls are complicated huh!
Then there are the ‘girl crushes’ that turn out to be something else altogether. See I had a friend at school who was basically a blond Angelina Jolie only taller. Dominant, strong, very charismatic and totally hot. I had a ‘girl crush’ on her for years. Then in year 12 I start to realise that I was actually fairly in love with her and told her as much. Fortunately for me she’s fairly open minded and isn’t even the slightest bit awkward around me.
The point is that in this new era of open mindedness I think terms like ‘girl crush’ are fairly patronizing and unnecessary. I don’t see why we need to attach a label to a girl-girl infatuation to make it socially acceptable.