As Colin pointed out a moment ago I do actually have something to talk about: the saga of the plug. Or as he so eloquently put it:
Tell em about how you lost the plug for the kitchen sink and spent half an hour looking for it and you couldn’t find it and you got all frustrated and weirded out and the kettle growled at you and then the plug was stuck to the bottom of a plate which you found when you were washing it!
Basically I went to wash the dishes and I couldn’t find the plug. Except I hate not being able to find something. It freaks me out so I was going a little bit mad.
Eventually I went downstairs and grabbed the plug out of the laundry because I knew that if I kept looking for it I’d probably go crazy. Then whilst I was washing the dishes I was sure the kettle laughed at me in an evil manner which weirded me out even more and I had crazy thoughts about the kitchen appliances conspiring against me and stealing the plug.
Eventually whilst I was washing the plates I found the plug suction-capped to the bottom of a plate.