Miriam Parkinson

…When stuck in the middle of nowhere without Internet access.

Actually to be honest there was Internet access. I just wasn’t willing to pay $25 a day for the privilege; but, back to the point. When you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere without Internet access you start finding other ways to entertain yourself. Like women’s magazines.

I really do recommend that any man who has a girlfriend/wife/mistress/all-of-the-above (you know who you are) makes sure he has a flick through of whichever magazines his various significant females read. I am convinced that 90% of strange female behaviour is caused by a lethal combination of spazzed out hormones and women’s magazines.

Anyway, this months issue of Marie Claire has a fascinating and very deep article on… ‘Sex and your stars… a six-month horoscope special’. Now I tend to view horoscopes with a certain level of amusement. They are, obviously a pile of garbage, but in terms of their personality descriptions they’ve got mine pretty much spot on, so its always amusing when they give their take on my sexual and or romantic tendencies.

So here is what I learned about myself from this months Marie Claire:

1. the most important sexual organ is the brain… (of course it is… why didn’t I realise before)
2. I am spontaneous, liberated, unpredictable, and love to experiment
3. I give the impression of someone sexy, stimulating and erotically uninhibited
4. I drive men crazy with my air of amused detachment and elitist demeanour

(this is the best bit)

You need to feel connected to a kindred mind so you can be mesmerised by someone brilliant and articulate who seems to have all the answers. You usually don’t discover until it’s too late that he’s all head and no heart… You also attract unfaithful types who take advantage of your trust.

The worrying thing is that I can think of a fair handful of people who fit that description perfectly.

So there you have it. Miriam according to Marie Claire.

And if you want my shiny piece of advice. If you’re going to start a relationship with someone who has a history of affairs and one-night stands then just be honest about it and make it an open relationship. Its not usually the sex that upsets people but the dishonesty.

Three of my four exams are over so I’m in a fairly good mood. The exam period has been pretty up and down. The first exam was fantastic and I’m pretty sure I got an HD, the second was Satan in exam form and if they don’t normalise the marks the entire course will fail, and the third was pretty good although a bit long so I rushed through a couple of questions. That said at least I finished it. Most didn’t. All I have left is a nice, friendly, open-book programming exam. Piece of cake

In other news I got the IBL position I was after. They offered me the job right there in the interview. Didn’t even have to sweat it out waiting to find out whether I was in. I’m going to be starting in a couple of weeks so soon I’ll be a very busy girl.

I’ve been thinking about costumes lately (I know what you’re thinking Cam and I have a perfectly good excuse – I’m going to a fancy dress party) and the real question is: would I make a better Sailor Moon, or French Maid. I already have access to the Sailor Moon costume although I’d need to hunt down a blond wig, and I’d need to get a French Maid outfit if I went for that but my hair won’t be an issue. Choices, choices. I guess I could also probably russle up a pretty good Catwoman outfit if I really wanted but I don’t really think its my style.

I’m going to be away in Bright for the long weekend so if anyone wants to contact me they’ll have to do it by phone because I won’t have internet access. I should have lots of spare time trying to avoid all the wives whilst the boys are gallivanting about the countryside on dirtbikes so I’ll probably do a bit of photography while I’m there. Last year I took some pretty cool shots of a frozen lake but it was with a 2 mega-pixie cameraphone so they were all a bit on the grainy side.