A Little Unstable
admin | October 6, 2006In case you haven’t noticed I’m not exactly the most mentally stable person in the world. Basically I’m a little bi-polar, a little bit obsessive-compulsive (when I was a kid I *had* to blink every time we went past a light pole in the car… Actually I still do that sometimes) , and I have a lot of ADHD. Actually I have a feeling that most of these are rather linked given there is such thing as Obsessive-Compulsive ADHD and Bi-polar is a common co morbid disorder with ADHD.
Anyways…
Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been a little on the depressed side so to those of you who actually see me on a day to day basis that’s why I’ve been acting kinda weird, and to those who haven’t its some kind of explanation for why I tend to go through periods of posting ALL the time and then posting nothing for ages.
And just so you know, no need to be worried about me with the whole depression thingy. I’m past the worst of it.
Bi-polar has got nothing to do with Polar-bears, even bi ones, right?
Yes Colin, make fun of my mental problems why don’t you :-p
So what do you do when you feel the brain juice dropping? Got any secret remedies? Me – I paint, play chess, pick up the guitar… anything to get the right brain working. Got a feeling that low seratonin levals and ensuing depression are a left brain thing. It certainly seems to kick off in me a left brain negative spiral of logical positivism.
Depends on the particular brand of depression I’m suffering at the time.
I can only really do art when Ive got hypomania so that doesn’t really help with depression.
Exercise is good for garden variety depression but I have one particular dangerous spiral which tends to result in mini nervous breakdown until someone else picks me up, brushes me off and puts me back in a sensible state of mind.
It goes like this.
Don’t care about anything style depression. Stop studying. Escape into my little shell and spend all my time doing very little. A lot of sleep usually happens at this stage.
Get to the heavy assessment time of the year and start freaking. I internalise all my stress so everyone thinks I’m fine except I’m suffering from extreme insomnia and suddenly become very ill. Then I completely implode and loose the plot.
By the final stage I can frequently be found huddled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forward and quietly sobbing.
Oh and the absolute best cure for depression.
A sharp dose of adrenaline